Thank you to Kristina, our Bereavement Counsellor for providing a blog with advice when grieving at Christmas.
Christmas can be a difficult time of year for those who have experienced the death of a family member, friend, pet or someone close to them. Despite how the saying goes ‘time can be a great healer’ it is often not the case and whether you have said goodbye to someone this year or twenty years ago, Christmas can be a painful reminder of what has been lost.
The grieving process is different for all of us and it is important for you to make arrangements that will help you and your needs during this difficult time. Some people might not want to celebrate Christmas and want to be alone, while others may want to be surrounded by family and friends for support. Whatever you decide best suits your needs and your grieving process it may be helpful to make some plans for you to remember that special person/people. Here are some suggestions:
- Visit a grave or special place of the person that has died.
- Talk to them, out loud or silently (think about what you would say to them if they were here)
- Share memories with others around you or write some memories down and keep them in a jar (‘memory jar’)
- Light a candle for them
It can also be healing to balance the time remembering with some time for you, and if you find joy this Christmas, try to allow yourself to be happy without guilt. Remember, it is okay to be happy – this doesn’t diminish how much you love and miss the person who isn’t with you this Christmas.
Most importantly be kind to yourself and ask for help if you need it. Here are some useful contacts:
The Samaritans
24 hour FREE helpline support every day of the year for anyone in distress including those who are feeling suicidal.
T: 116 123
W: www.samaritans.org
Cruse Bereavement Care
National email support service: helpline@cruse.org.uk
National helpline number: 0808 808 1677
Helpline opening hours: Monday – Friday 9.30am – 5pm (excluding bank holidays) with extended hours on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays to 8pm
Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society (SANDS)
T: 020 7436 5881
E: helpline@uk-sands.org
W: www.uk-sands.org
Welcomes calls from anyone affected by a stillbirth or a baby, family, friends or professionals including long after the event
Child Death Helpline
T: 0800 282986
Mon-Fri 1000-1300, Weds only 1300-1600
Every day 1900-2200
W: www.childdeathhelpline.org
Helpline support for anyone affected by the death of a child, irrespective of the age of the child, the relationship or the length of time since the death.
Winston’s Wish
Helpline: 08088 020021
W: www.winstonswish.org.uk
Gives support for those caring for children affected by the death of a parent or a sibling and to the children themselves.
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide
T: 0844 561 6855 Lines are open 0900-2100 every day
W: www.uk-sobs.org.uk
A self help organisation which exists to meet the needs of those bereaved by the suicide of a family member or anyone close to them.
The Blue Cross
T: 0800 096 6606 Everyday 0830-2030
W: www.bluecross.org.uk
Telephone and email support following the loss of a companion animal.
Please also contact us if you would like to attend our bereavement support coffee mornings or would like to seek specialist bereavement counselling in the new year on the details below. These services are available to all clients of Bungards, please make contact with Bungards for more details.
Festive best wishes
Kristina
K Counselling rand Psychotherapy
Webiste: www.kcounselling.co.uk
Tel: 07444471064
E-mail: kcounselling@outlook.com. ”
Candle at Christmas