We are delighted to announce that Kristina Burvill-Ridler has joined the Bungard aftercare team. In her own words here is a little bit of information about her.

I am a qualified humanistic psychotherapeutic counsellor in Brighton and Hove.

I understand how extremely difficult, painful and stressful life can be and it can be a hard job to try and manage things on our own. I appreciate that living with daily pressures can mean we can feel lost and lose direction of what we want from life. You may be seeking counselling to talk about the daily struggles in your life, or to gain support with a specific issue such as bereavement or relationship issues. Whatever your reason, I believe that sharing your emotions and feelings freely within an empathic and therapeutic relationship can be incredibly healing.

I aim to provide you with a safe and confidential space where you can explore what may be bothering you and have a chance to express your thoughts and feelings.

My approach is humanistic and I believe that we all have the ability to make the right choices and decisions for ourselves. I will encourage you to trust in your own process, and work with you to identify your inner resources in order for you to re-gain a sense of freedom and direction.

We are looking forward to working with Kristina and together growing the aftercare service that we provide.  Kristina will be helping us roll out a series of coffee mornings and luncheons over the next few months for the recently bereaved.

We are delighted to have been accepted as a “Recommended Funeral Director” by the Natural Death Centre for 2015 – 2016. The Natural Death Centre seeks to inform, empower and inspire the public in all matters relating to death and dying, and in particular to increase awareness of funeral choices outside of the mainstream.

Recommended Funeral Directors have to agree to support and promote the following

• To be flexible with the public and provide the service they request.
• To state clearly what their services entail, including a clear breakdown of costs for each part.
• To provide a very basic disposal service if requested.
• To provide information regarding all disposal options to all clients.
• To assist families who only want a part service, and not to make this difficult by offering ‘packages only’.
• To inform customers that they can send feedback about the services provided to The Natural Death Centre.
• To explain that embalming is optional – and also explain what embalming entails.
• To inform families that they may like to help with some aspects such as washing and dressing the person who has died, or carrying the coffin.
• To state clearly if they are a member of a larger ‘group’.
• To inform families whether the person who has died is being kept at another facility.
• To provide families with options for other types of celebrant beyond simply a minister or a humanist.
• To meet and make arrangements at the family home at no extra charge.

Despite their long running links with environmentally friendly funerals, they are not a green pressure group, but primarily a movement for social change.

They have played a central part in demystifying the traditional funeral, encouraging thousands of families in having the kind of funerals they wanted, and helping create opportunity for new rituals to emerge.

They are, and will continue to be an informed and reflective presence on issues such as dying at home, caring for our dead and changing funeral practices and actively promote natural burial as an option that should be offered to everyone.

Eighteen months ago my 92 year old mother finally released her hold on her physical body.  None of us who had travelled her journey with her for the previous two years were sad she’d finally chosen to go, we were more relieved for her that now she was free of what had become an increasingly intolerable and painful burden.   I knew one of my cousins, Clive, had run a white dove release business from his home in North London for several years and on the day of her funeral he brought two beautiful doves down with him in a pretty white basket for us to release after the ceremony.  We’d never taken part in a release before and had no idea what to expect. 

Clive explained he’d bought two doves to symbolise Mum’s re-union with Dad now, and said they could be released from the basket or we could hold them and offer them up for their homeward flight.  We chose the latter, and it was interesting to notice that as he explained what was about to happen to our gathered family and friends, the mood of the group changed from insular grief to a sense of curiosity that connected and lifted us.

 Gently cupping the beautiful dove that was handed to me was magical.  The softness of her feathers, her pure white colour, the innocence in her eyes, and her acceptance of my touch whilst yearning to fly free, enchanted me.   At Clive’s command I lifted my arms and opened my hands.  ‘Fly free Mum, fly free…..’ my heart cried.  And she did.  Strong, graceful, light as a feather, in an instant my dove rose in the air, returning to the freedom that was her birth-right.It is easy to understand why these beautiful, gentle birds have for thousands of years been universally accepted as symbols of love, peace and new beginnings.  As she rose and circled above, quickly joined by her companion, everyone watched intently.  They circled twice more, as if saying goodbye before they took off on their homeward journey.  Looking up, arms still outstretched, my breathing had changed, and amazingly so had my feelings.  Somehow the doves had left their blessing: they’d connected me with the love that Mum’s life had gifted to me; the love that lived on in my heart.  “Be ever ready to release that love and I am with you always’ was the whisper that carried on the wind.

A few months later my daughter and I took receipt of our first batch of baby doves from Clive, and Lambert’s White Dove Release – Brighton, was born.  It was time to share the blessings down here in Sussex.

If you’d like a White Dove Release at a funeral or occasion you’re organising, or you feel it’s the right time to release in memory of a loved one already passed, give Laura a ring on 07746 450814, or join us in a 30 dove release at our Wings of Love ceremony at the Sussex County Cricket Ground on Sunday 31st July at 3pm:  www.doverelease.eventbrite.co.uk.

 Best wishes, Viv & Laura

  Lambert’s White Dove Release, Brighton

Every day from 1-2pm GMT during Dying Matters Awareness Week, 9-15 May, we will be joining in a Tweetchat on a different theme relating to the end of life and bereavement.

• Monday 9 May: The importance of making a funeral plan
• Tuesday 10 May: Planning for your future care and support
• Wednesday 11 May: The importance of making a will
• Thursday 12 May: Signing up as an organ donor
• Friday 13 May: Making sure your loved ones know your plans
• Saturday 14 May and Sunday 15 May: Your choice – chat about anything and everything related to dying, death and bereavement.

Organic Burial Pods will turn loved ones into trees not graves. This is currently a very unconventional way of being buried but could this be a reality?  The idea of coming full circle and returning whence we came from is one that appeals to many.   In Brighton & Hove there is a shortage of space for burials and this could be the answer?  Would you like to be buried in such a way knowing you are giving life to a tree? We would love to know your thoughts.

We have invited some friends back to write a second guest blog for the website. Our contributors are Helen Lawson and Sophia Lucop-Leech from Inspired Goodbyes. Bereavement cards just got personal In the aftermath of my brother’s death I remember feeling happy every time a bereavement card came through the door. Whether the giver of that card stopped for a cup of tea or whether they didn’t want to intrude, the fact that so many people were thinking of us made me a little bit better. It helped pass the time too, which goes so slowly after such awful news. If those cards had contained a memory or a story about my brother that I didn’t already know, I imagine they might have even brought a smile to our faces at a time when our hearts were broken. The death of a loved one, friend or family member is a horrible experience but it does happen. Why, then, is this major life event over-looked on our high streets? I’ve been told it’s because this subject is still taboo, but why? No one wants to have to buy a bereavement card but when we do, we should be faced with a decent choice. Even the big boys of retail often only have a handful to pick between. And they are all a little bit the same. Well, we think it’s high time bereavement cards and gifts had a more prominent position in our shops. This is why we have decided to do something about it. www.inspiredgoodbyes.co.uk recently launched a new range of bereavement cards. Words like ‘With sympathy’ or ‘deepest condolences’ simply don’t mean enough anymore. Our innovative range of bereavement cards are designed to encourage the sender to share a memory from a happier time with words like ‘Let me tell you something about your lovely mum…’, ‘Did I ever tell you about the time…’ and ‘it’s not fair’ because it isn’t fair and sometimes it’s okay to say it. We understand that these cards won’t be for everyone. If you think a more traditional card works for a particular family or friend then that’s okay. We just want to give people choice. My memory of receiving cards at a difficult time is a good one because warm words work wonders when you’re hurting. With the new Inspired Goodbyes range bereavement cards just got personal and there’s not a ‘with sympathy’ in sight.

We have invited some of our friends and suppliers to write guest blogs for the website. Our next contributor is Sue Stevens from Love2Donate.

We could have named our company ‘Ernie’ as it was a wonderful little boy with this name that inspired us to form our company – Love2Donate.

Ernie is the grandson of one of the Directors.

When he was only a couple of months old, Ernie was diagnosed with Bilateral Retinoblastoma (an aggressive form of cancer) that affects the eyes.

Ernie endured two heavy courses of chemotherapy, over 100 hospital trips, an operation every 3 weeks and although his vision has been severely affected he is currently in remission.

Throughout his ordeal, the support and comfort provided by medical staff and cancer support groups was amazing and they helped Ernie’s family through some very dark and emotional times.

As family birthdays occurred, Mother’s day, Father’s day etc., it was decided that instead of giving and receiving presents, we would rather donate to help those support groups assist other families going through similar nightmares.

Hence, the Love2Donate idea was born – giving the gift of a present which will also help a worthwhile cause.

Through the hard work and dedication of nursing staff, medical teams and the love and kindness received from charity members, Ernie is now a healthy seven year old that runs around just like any other child of his age.

As Ernie continues to thrive, so do we ….

Love2Donate : In Memory is a sister company that was created to enable the bereaved and loved ones to remember those in passing.

Working with Funeral Directors, such as Bungard Funeral Directors, we create a personal Tribute and Donation Page on their website whereby friends and loved ones can donate on line to a charity chosen by the Next of Kin that has meaning and could benefit in memory of their loved one.

The Tribute Page is a place where friends and loved ones can remember their loss, express their sympathy and help support each other at this very difficult and distressing time.

We wanted to be able to create an area where the grieving could spend time writing and reading all the wonderful words in support of the family and a safe and secure on line donation portal to donate in memory.

Another bonus using the Funeral Director’s website to place your on line donation is that Gift Aid can be claimed on behalf of the donor, which is then forwarded to the chosen charity. Gift Aid is a Government scheme that enables registered charities to reclaim tax on a donation made by a UK tax payer.  It means that the taxman will add 25p to every pound you give to a charity.

People donating in memory of their loved ones have raised an astonishing £479,403 in the past two years via Love2Donate : In Memory, which has been passed on to charities (this figures increases with the addition of Gift Aid).

It is such a sad and unbearable time for those left when someone dear passes away. We provide an area where the bereaved can remember their loved one and say goodbye in a safe environment.

Being able to donate to a charity can help towards easing a little of the pain knowing that someone, somewhere may be able to benefit from the loss of someone dear.

We are proud of the service we provide to Funeral Directors such as Bungard Funeral Directors, enabling them to expand the services they provide to their clients by offering additional services to the bereaved.

We have invited some of our friends and suppliers to write guest blogs for the website. Our first contributors are Helen Lawson and Sophia Lucop-Leech from Inspired Goodbyes.

The Inspired Goodbyes content.

It has often been said that tragedy can inspire people to do something positive. This is certainly true of Sophia and I when we created ‘Inspired Goodbyes’ after the untimely death of Sophia’s husband in 2013. I have had my own experience with bereavement when my brother died in 2000 in a motorbike accident. After many chats over cups of tea and glasses of wine talking about our experiences we decided to work together to do something positive for others going through their own grief. It’s from here that we set up a company and after much hard work saw our first idea, ‘Your Personal Goodbye’ become a reality. ‘Your Personal Goodbye’ is a simple, beautiful way for you, your family and your friends to write down your private messages to the person you love when they’ve died. You then take it in turns to place your folded up message inside the specially designed sealed tube. Once all the messages are inside you simply seal it with the sticker and hand the tube to your funeral director. They will then ensure that your words go with your loved one by placing the tube along side them.

Helen and Sophia

The idea for this product came about when Sophia and her daughter were writing letters and choosing photographs they wanted to send with her husband, Ava’s daddy. She handed them to the funeral director in a Tesco bag. It didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel dignified. This is why ‘Your Personal Goodbye’ comes in a natural cotton handmade bag. This is for you to either take other personal effects to the funeral director or use it afterwards to keep bereavement cards in to read at a later date.   You’ll also find a handmade pin inside ‘Your Personal Goodbye’. We had this beautiful pin of our infinity logo specially designed and crafted by an artist in Manchester to symbolise that your love lives on. You can wear it on the day of the funeral or whenever you feel you want to as a reminder of your love for the person you have lost. We are very proud of our little company and it makes us happy that wonderful family funeral directors, like Bungards, can see the benefit in offering ‘Your Personal Goodbye’ to the families they help. We hope it gives you some comfort and helps you when you have to say your most difficult goodbye.

We recently wrote about the effect obesity is having on the UK’s funeral industry.

Whilst this looks likely to continue, a council is taking things into its own hands with the introduction of super-sized graves.

Sutton Bridge and Wingland Parish Council hopes to open a new three-acre burial ground next year because space is running out at the cemetery in the local church – where plots measure 9ft by 4ft.

The authority is set to become the first in Britain to create a cemetery with graves dedicated to larger bodies to accommodate the nation’s growing obesity crisis.

The larger graves have been requested by funeral directors who have been struggling to haul coffins over long distances in the Lincolnshire village.

As plans drawn up for 30 super-sized plots near to the roadside, the local council is hoping to alleviate some of the problems funerals directors are faced with i.e. back problems and general injury.

As well as hundreds of standard graves, the authority plan to dig extra wide 9ft by 8ft plots near to the entrance of the burial ground.

This comes shortly after Newcastle-under-Lyme Borough Council, Staffordshire, installed a new £12,000 lift table to handle wider coffins for obese people.

The authority said the decision came after Bradwell Crematorium was unable to accommodate the funerals of 15 overweight people in 2013.

Some funeral parlours in Britain have even had to install hoists capable of lifting 50 stone, purchase reinforced steel trollies and increase the size of their fridges in order to manage larger corpse.

Hospital morgues and crematoriums have already had to make alterations to deal with the changes, such as installing extra-large furnace.

And ambulance bosses have also started paying out millions to ‘supersize’ their vehicles to cope with the growing number of obese casualties.

The East Midlands Ambulance Service (EMAS) introduced a fleet of 128 larger ambulances, each capable of dealing with patients who weigh up to 55st.

The UK’s growing obesity problem showing no sign of slowing but with the introduction of a number of innovations, the funeral industry is poised to keep moving with the times.